I’ve finally listed all the stickers I’ve been sitting on since mid June(?). It’s difficult to pick and choose when I place my order because I can’t order EVERYTHING. However, it’s monumental to actually list them when I receive them. I have to take photos and I find that it’s trickier in winter when I don’t have very many daylight hours to get it done. Not to mention, it’s also cold and I’m in my hibernation mode. How do people stay motivated?
I thought to share a story today about my little shop. I don’t think I’d ever be able to leave my day job to pursue this full time; that would be the dream. So if I know that in my heart of hearts, why do I compare myself to those who are doing this as their full time job/career?
I’ve had big dreams and grand plans when I first started. I looked at others for (so called) inspiration and motivation…then to realise, even if I had all the same tools, my output (or rather, what output? Hah!) is different. I don’t have the innate talent, nor did I put in any time to nurture and build up skills required to do what I see others are doing. I love crafting and I like making things. However, like my piano lessons, I never put enough hours into the training to make up for the lack of natural talent. My thoughts are all over the place and I’m typing as they come.
I know you need to put in the time and effort to master something. Perhaps I shouldn’t feel slighted when mum said I’m a Jack (well, Jane) of all trades but master of none. I have also mentioned before that I am not creative on demand. It just has to come and often times, it’s a a rehash of something else I’ve seen. I don’t think I’ve come up with anything original. I like solving puzzles and maybe that’s why modifying something come easier than coming up with something new? Eg. I don’t have an amigurumi pattern for a lop eared rabbit, so I wing it and made my own from the basic information I know of how to crochet.
Why am I typing this out at the moment? I’m not sure.
I guess I’m trying to convince myself that if I treat this little shop and side hustle as a hobby, I won’t feel as pressured. I’ve been procrastinating so much and yet I wonder out loud, “How do people do it all?” I read that procrastination can be due to fear of failing. I don’t understand this phrase entirely because I procrastinate often (oops!) but I don’t think I have a fear of failing. I think I’m just lazy (this is being completely honest) and don’t want to do it until I HAVE to – because I have other things I can do! Like watching a Youtube video or playing another round of my mobile game. Heh! However, now that I’ve knuckled down to do my shop update, it wasn’t hard. I just had to start!
I guess a little introspection today led me to a new understanding of why they say procrastination is connected to a fear of failure. If I didn’t update my shop, then even there are no sales, it’s okay. I didn’t “fail” my update because I didn’t do it! Does that make sense? I think I’ve been looking at how successful other people’s launches and updates are…then feel really small because I haven’t experienced such a thing before. Now, I’m not saying this to get any pity sales. In fact, I don’t want people to be buying just for the sake of helping/showing support. I think I am a practical person (I like to give practice gifts that are useful to someone)? So I hope those who have purchased something did because they will use the items or really like them. For that, I am very grateful. Life is too short to pretend to like something – there is no longevity to it.
Perhaps I am just better at being a supporter than the main act. Or maybe I haven’t found my main act yet. Who knows.
In the mean time, I really need to trim down my sticker stash. Start using them instead of just collecting them in my sticker folder. In a way, I think I should also trim down my hobbies. I feel a bit of anxiety when I think about all the things I want and need to do – the increase in heart rate, the running thoughts. There is only so much I can do in the time that I have. Why not do what is enjoyable and fills my happy tank? Not worrying about how/where to find time to do such and such. Let it come naturally, let go of things that bring no benefit to my spiritual, mental and physical well being.